Just because someone isn’t doing what you think they should be doing, doesn’t mean they’re not doing anything.
Love.
Tag: black lives matter
Citizens
Imagine going to a therapist who works out of her home. She tells you to use the side entrance, through the gate. But the gate is locked, so you go to the front door and knock.
The therapist, who specializes in trauma, whips open the door and screams in your face “GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY YARD?”
If you’re seeking a therapist with a specialty in trauma counseling, it’s because you’ve experienced trauma.
How do you react?
Maybe part of that trauma is that you’ve been ignored your whole life, described as a criminal, pulled over and searched for no particular reason. When you walk by, people pull their purses a little closer. People say things to you that seem aggressive, yet they smile while they do it.
If you haven’t experienced these traumas, then perhaps you react. Ask the woman what her problem is? Ask her if she speaks to all her patients like this? Maybe you curse her out. And I’m definitely guessing, you don’t go in and pay her exorbitant fees.
But if you have experienced microaggressions and this is maybe just the third one that day, and it’s still early, you go in.
It’s not one black man who was brutalized by cops that hurts and angers large sections of our population. It’s the thousand little microaggressions that happen on a daily basis and it’s repeated brutality by those who should be setting an example in our society which makes it seem okay to other parts of our population. Further, it is those in charge who seem to shrug and say, oops, as if a cop didn’t just kill someone by kneeling on his neck for 8 minutes, but rather ran a stop sign or some other insignificant infraction.
Claudia Rankine describes hundreds of microaggressions perpetrated by colleagues, “friends,” strangers, and society. Citizen: An American Lyric is a book of poetry. I saw it enacted as a play at the Kirk Douglas Theater in Los Angeles some time ago – and it made and left an impression.
I’ve used it in nearly every literature class since. It is a work of art.
Articles, excerpts, and videos:
An Excerpt from the book Poets.Org
Stop and Frisk – video
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You might be a racist…
One of the discussions we have in my classes on a regular basis is about cross cultural communications. I have a few rules in class about discussions. The first of which is you don’t have to agree with anyone, but you should know how to respectfully disagree. And two – if you feel someone says something inappropriate, including me, say something.
I don’t claim to be an expert. I listen. We discuss.
If you’ve ever uttered lines such as:
- “He’s good looking for a black guy.”
- “She’s a nice black girl.”
- Any version of, “Some of my best friends are black,” or “I have black friends.”
- “All lives matter.”
- Told a black joke to your black friend (and you’re not black).
- Quoted statistics of white people killed by cops.
You’ve either came across as ignorant or racist.
These are insensitive and can be interpreted as hateful. Learning to communicate effectively takes time and practice.
If you hear others say these things and feel safe, let them know these things are inappropriate.
If you’re uncertain what you or others have said is inappropriate, ask someone – and understand the reasoning.
Check out these articles.
“Some of My Best Friends Are Black”
“Why You Should Stop Saying All Lives Matter”
“Don’t Understand the Protests?”
“27 Things White People Should Never Say…”
To understand how to better communicate across cultures:
52 Activities for Improving Cross Cultural Communication
It is not my intention to label or call names. I am asking that you be aware of what you’re saying and how you sound.
We all need to be more sensitive in the way we speak to and think of one another. We share a planet. We are all brothers and sisters. We are all beautiful human beings.
Noreen Lace 
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