Word Problems – a poem by Noreen Lace

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Word Problems

 

I hate when men write

soft poetry about their ex’s.

It’s easier to read the hate

than to let your mind wonder

“what went wrong?”

 

It’s easier to hear, I don’t love

you anymore,

than to hear I love you, but…

and the thousand buts

that say you just didn’t add up.

 

I mean she…

back to the poet with the soft poetry

and the lost wife.

He writes it, not to her,

but for himself,

to remind himself

of what he let go,

the additions he didn’t add in

when he was subtracting

all she didn’t have.

 

All the things he didn’t have

all the while he’s telling himself

he was right

to let her go

when he did

because things would have gotten worse

had they not parted before the math was done.

At least this way he can ruminate,

look back fondly and say,

 

we parted as friends,

Meaning,

I departed quietly to search for something more,

 

she just got hurt.

 

*originally published in the Northridge Review 2002.

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This was written long ago, while I was finishing graduate school. I think it’s still so relatable. One person is always ready to go before the other. One person walks away, the other crawls.  (But don’t worry – the one who crawls gets up, becomes stronger, and thrives!)

Much love, readers.

 

 

Friday Feature – Motivational Author Anda Stan: “To Be or Not to Be the One of Your Own Life…”

Man jump through the gap between hill.man jumping over cliff on              Funny title, right? It is. But, it is also true and powerful on many levels. “The one” usually represents your one and only significant other in love matters. Still, how about being yourself “the one” in all the aspects of your life? Sounds crazy? Maybe, at first. But, being the one of your own life means tremendous power for yourself and your overall life….

We always look for support from others and we think we have no one in our life to rely upon in times of need. We feel that we are weak, and backup is needed. And we are right, but we forget the most important thing: we forget about ourselves.

Remember my dear one, we are our first most reliable party in our lives. Friends, lovers, even family at times, tend to betray us, let us down, make us feel alone and in misery. Hence, find the power of your own self. That doesn’t mean to isolate yourself from them, that means to be “the one” of your own life.

Understand the fact that you are someone of great importance in your own life. You are someone that can make things happen for you without delay. You are someone that can manifest your biggest desires. You are someone amazing that can really get the sun or the moon from the sky and put it on your own feet. You are THE ONE!

You may think that what I am saying may be to big of a theory. In fact, it isn’t. How many successful people have you heard they became successful with the help of others? And how many successful people have you heard they became successful with the help of their self? I think and know the answer is more, way more for the second question. They were “THE ONE” of their own lives.

See, you may become the most powerful person in your life. Can you say that you aren’t the most reliable person in your own life? Can you say that as long as you have a mindset and a goal in your life you will not make anything that stands in your own powers and more to accomplish that? Can you say that you will betray yourself and your success? Yes, you are the most reliable person in your own life. Yes, you can accomplish anything you have a mindset and goal upon. No, you will never betray yourself and your own success.

anda4              For example, you want to be a writer? Who is the first person that can help you with that? You are! You want to start a successful business? Who is the first person that can help you with that? You are! You want to have money? Who can do that fast enough for you? You can! You want to become independent in a way or another? Who can first help you with that? You can! See? Why would you wait for others to do or make things for you as long as you can? Why wait and meet with disappointments of all kinds? Some promise and never keep their promises. Some don’t say a word, but keep you on your toes, and again, you meet with disappointment, and so on.

We always forget of how powerful we are as individuals. We always tend to rely on others for solutions and resolutions, when we can simply take a decision and act strongly upon it. It’s not going to be easy. That’s a given my friend. But, what’s easy in this world? The difference is that you are THE ONE making a huge difference in your own life. You are THE ONE that solves things. You are THE ONE that is reliable for you. You are THE ONE that won’t disappoint you. You are THE ONE that will first taste the success of your accomplishments. You are THE ONE that will become respected. And last but not least, you are THE ONE that will gain respect towards your own self! And that’s huge my dear one! Respecting yourself and acknowledging your own self, your own value is something incredible!

Why do we always belittle ourselves and think that others will have the power to help us in a way or another? Why do we always tend to be supporting characters of our own lives? Why don’t we want to be the main character? Why don’t we allow ourselves to become the heroes? Why?!

If we find that “love yourself or lose power” thing in our lives, we are capable of magical things. We can achieve everything we want and need. Well, true, you might say that it’s too much in naming “everything”, but how about “almost everything” and leave room for the “element of surprise”? It’s doable. Trust me. Compared to the numerous occasions when you had hope from others, were promised for things, were let to wait for ever and so on, how many of those materialized for you? Too little, right? And when you found the power, will within you to do something, to make something, to accomplish something, how many times you were disappointed, didn’t accomplish? I think that 90% at least you were a winner for yourself.

anda3           The power of being THE ONE of your own life is at your finger tip.  Start being THE ONE! Let others become your supporting characters and you the action maker! Be the writer of your own story! Create your own destiny! Create your one and only! Manifest amazing things for you that only you can! Taste the sweet success of your own efforts! Make things happen according to your own will! Be the magician of your own life and materialize your wants and needs! Be the next Bill Gates, Oprah and so on! They both started on their own, one had more misery at first than the other and see them now! They had the power and magic on relying on themselves and on nobody else! They both believed in being THE ONE of their lives! They took action, they became their own heroes, and now they bask in the success and material needs they themselves created with the power of being THE ONE!

You can do it too! Just find yourself, believe in yourself, rely on yourself, persevere, never let yourself down from others, and hit the jackpot for yourself and for your own life my friend!

Well, if you don’t believe me, why don’t you give it a try and see for yourself what magic powers being THE ONE has for you too? 😉

Wish you all to find yourself and manifest everything you want with an element of surprise! 😊 😉

Blessings!

Your true friend always,

Anda Stananda

http://andastan.com/

A few things about me: Among other things I am a writer. I am currently working on two books. One is fiction, “Chris Carter and The Prince of Darkness”, a supernatural, paranormal story with a bit of romance, and the other is nonfiction, “Love Yourself Or Lose Power”, a motivational, inspirational, self-improvement book. For a taste of them, you can go to my website and read first parts of them. Love yourself at all times my friend!

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Many thanks, Anda, for sharing!

noreen

 

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Random facts stalkers don’t know…

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I grew up in a tough neighborhood. (don’t stereotype me)

I was in a band. (for about 5 minutes)

I was in a few movies. (another 5 minutes)

I wrote my first “novel”at the age of 11. (an angst ridden piece about a girl who is kidnapped because she witnessed a crime)

I was actually kidnapped. (not at 11/that story is waiting for publication)

I always have wanted to own a Munster-like house.

I’ve gotten lost in every major city I’ve ever been (including abroad. Trust me when I say every country/every city has neighborhoods you don’t want to be lost in at dusk)

I keep a lot of random facts as well as insignificant details in my brain. (jokes don’t stick tho)

now the stalkers know – don’t be a stalker….

The Corner of Bitter and Christmas

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I went shopping last week. It was earlier in the day, around 11am, on a weekday when stores aren’t usually busy.

I sat on a rather large bench to try on the shoes. It could have easily sat four people, but the sales person set the shoes on the bench next to me leaving room for at least two other people. I tried on a pair. A woman came up, she was lingering around, looking at shoes. I wasn’t paying much attention to anything other than the comfort of the shoes I was trying on. The woman set down the box of shoes in one empty space, set down her large purse in her other empty seat, and continued to stand.

When I got up to walk over to the mirror and examine my shoes, she pushed my shoe boxes further over, said something to her husband that I did not hear, and took my seat.  I didn’t say anything, assuming she’d be gone by the time I returned anyway.

She tried on the new shoes, changed back into her shoes, and stood up just as I imagined. I went over, sat back down, and tried on the other pair of shoes. I got up again, expecting she’d take my seat again, but she did not. She grabbed her things, looked my way, and said something like “what’s wrong with some people?”

At the register, the cashier was ringing out the first person in line. There were two other people in front of me. The cashier had forgotten to take the customer’s return from the final price. The customer was very impatient. The woman behind her turned to her friend and said something, loud enough for everyone to hear, about the customer. Sensing an argument that I didn’t want to be a part of, I checked my phone. The customer having the problem walked away without a purchase, causing more negative comments from the friends behind her about how she’d wasted their time. They turned to me, an attempt to bring me into their circle. I looked at my phone, avoided their gaze.

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After that purchase, I needed to pick up an order from another counter. Another long line, so I waited. Again, more impatient people. The woman in front of me walked up to another sales person, “can’t you get someone else to help?” She returned, looked at me, and tried to bring me into her circle of complaining about the service.

The first thing that occurs to me is: 1. We have become a very impatient society. I remember waiting in long lines with my mother as a child. People waited patiently, because the wait was expected. Today, with our instant society, no one is expected to wait, and no one expects to have to wait.  Does anyone remember the long lines in a Blockbuster video store on a Friday evening?  and 2. The Christmas Season is upon us. The season where, unlike the ideal – let their be peace on earth, people are more stressed than at any other time of the year.

Let’s be honest. Christmas time is not the most wonderful time of the year. ESPECIALLY when you’re shopping.

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Even every day activities, like running to the market for the usual items, becomes more of a chore. The lines are longer, which honestly is NOT the problem. The problem is how the people act in those lines.

At a local  market, I got into the wrong line. I did not see the 15 Items or Less Sign. The person in front of me had a full cart. The man behind me had a full cart. I had probably 20 items. At least two other people in that line waited patiently behind that man without saying a word. But a man walked up to the very back of the line and instantly started complaining. I didn’t pay attention. To hear people complaining about lines is like white noise in the supermarket. But his voice kept getting louder, closer, then he was behind me. He was yelling – YELLING – at the man behind me about having too many items. The man moved his cart and let him go in front of him. The cashier was just about to ring through my things when the man moved his attention to me – “I guess you can’t read either.”  I turned around to see, yes, he was indeed speaking to me. He had two children with him. I had no idea what he was talking about until he pointed out the small sign over the register. He had successfully bullied himself to the front of the line and I was the only one standing in his way to be first. The cashier paused, wondering if I was going to let him in front of me. And, you know what, had he called it to my attention nicely, had he asked me with any decency, had he not just bullied the other people in line and berated the old man behind me, I would have let him go – But, it’d been a long day, I was tired, and this man was an asshole. I told him to take a flying leap – well, we’ll say those are the words I used. And the cashier rang me through. The man was still not satisfied with being next; he continued yelling until the manager came over and took him to another register to wait on him personally.

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These things happen every day around the holidays. People are pressured, stressed, trying to make their holiday the best for their family, try to get things done between work and other responsibilities, and people lose their patience, if not their minds, in the effort to do so.

Welcome to the corner of bitter and Christmas.

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We are supposed to be nicer this time of year, more patient, more beautiful to one another, but so many people lose sight of that.

When I must go out and face the crowds, I prepare myself by telling myself that I must be more patient than those who are not, kinder than those who are not, and I must smile especially for those who are not.

At one sale, my daughter handed me a prized purse; the last of its kind. I wasn’t certain I wanted it but, if I put it down, it’d be gone. I was looking at the purse, wondering if I should really buy it just because it was the last of its kind and everyone else wanted it, when I noticed the woman across the display from me.  I smiled.  She smiled.  “I’m sorry,” she said. “If you’re going to put it back, I’d like to have it.” I handed it to her. She was extremely grateful and happy. I’d made her day. Now, that’s the Christmas Spirit.

I don’t go out on Black Friday. There is nothing I want or need that is worth fighting – literally – fighting for. The stores set things up like a competition – think about it: Competitive Shopping! I say, don’t give in!

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In light of everything that is going on in our society right now, in the world, I say keep your common sense, keep your dignity, keep your smile, and stay patient in the face of those who are not. Do not meet them at the corner of bitterness and Christmas, come on over to the Self Respect Cafe and relax.

Less stress means fewer wrinkles, better sleep, an overall better feeling throughout the holiday season – and you’ll never have see one of those embarrassing pictures of yourself.

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This season – be kind, be happy.