Ladies and gentlemen,
My book of short stories should be out in another month – I’ll have two advance copies to give away.
There will be a very easy one question contest, and then a drawing (done by a third party) from all of the correct answers.
The official announcement and contest will begin in the next few weeks – keep checking back or sign up to receive updates!
Daughter: My friend invited me to Oregon, I need a new bathing suit.
Me: Bathing suit? It’s going to be chilly.
Daughter: So I’ll take a sweater. We’re going sit on the beach at night and watch the stars.
Me: At night….On the beach… In Oregon…. at this time of year? It’s going to be cold.
Daughter: So we’ll take a blanket too.
Me: You’re going to need a coat, maybe gloves.
Me: Last time I was on the beach at night, we saw a rat.
Daughter: Your new nickname is SPOILER ALERT!
Me: That’s what they called me in college!
Daughter: Why do I not doubt that?!
C: Let me guess- are you a third grade art teacher?
C: Oh, your friend showed me that picture of you with paintings of owls.
Me: So, it looks like something a third grader could do?
C: No, no. I just haven’t painted owls since I was in the third grade.…
Me: It was a class I went to, like a workshop.
C: So, what do you teach?
C: You have a PhD?
C: Hahahaha! Oh my god! and you paint owls?! I thought you’d be painting Reniors with an MFA!
-A moment of silence.-
Me: I don’t teach painting.
C: But that picture? You were in a classroom.
Me: It was a class that I took. I didn’t teach it.