I know some people are really nice, like super-duper, sticky sweet nice. And I like these people. I used to be one of them.
I used to bend over backwards to accommodate friends and lovers. I would go out of my way for an acquaintance or a stranger.
But you know what happens – People like to take advantage. How people stay so nice, I’m not sure. For me, I needed boundaries.
Therefore, I won’t be winning any popularity contests.
I am a nice person. I do go out of my way for people. But I also have incorporated boundaries. I no longer overdo and run myself ragged, and I don’t contort unless I’m in yoga class.
The thing is though – I didn’t win any contests being sticky sweet. Sometimes people took advantage, sometimes people didn’t trust me, and sometimes people mistook my niceness (although that still occasionally happens).
When a person makes a change to incorporating boundaries, people react. I remember one particular person got angry, another tried to manipulate me. Some people, unable to push beyond those boundaries, left.
I’m good with that. I’m good with not winning any contests. I’m really happy to have found a good balance.
Because a person changes and grows, the people around them have to change their perception and the way they interact. It makes some friends and family uncomfortable and might cause them to question their own behaviors and attitudes. In this insta-world, it’s easier to walk away. It’s probably for the best.